Confessions of a Type A Personality

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5 years ago

Last week, I was talking to someone about my blog. When I mentioned it is called “Mrs. Type A,” he was very confused; he had never heard of the term “Type A” before. So, I found myself explaining a Type A personality, as well as what it meant to live with that personality. I suspect many of my readers are Type A, so I thought it would be interesting to explore the Type A personality more, and the implications.

What does it mean to be Type A?

I actually never knew the origins of the Type A label. After doing some research (see here), I learned that the label (along with its sister label, “Type B”), was discovered in the 1970’s and has the most fascinating origins….

Cardiologists Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman realized that the upholstery on their waiting room chairs was wearing out faster than it should. It resulted in them hypothesizing that there is something different behavior-wise about cardiology patients; they tended to be more impatient and, therefore, would get up and down and squirm around more in the chairs than patients without heart diseases. As a result, these patients would wear the chairs out faster. In the end, Friedman and Rosenman concluded that their patients had what they called a “Type A” personality type which contributes to higher risk of heart disease and high blood pressure.

The more I learned about what it means to be Type A, the more I realized I have been quite misunderstood about it’s meaning. People had always referred to me as “Type A” because I am very driven towards achievement and push myself hard to do more / better.

However, that is not really what it means to be Type A, I have learned. According to the Simply Psychology article referenced above, the hallmark traits of a Type A personality are:

Competitiveness: “very competitive and self-critical. They strive toward goals without feeling a sense of joy in their efforts or accomplishments.”
Time Urgency: “constant sense of urgency…quickly become impatient with delays and unproductive time, schedule commitments too tightly, and try to do more than one thing at a time”
Hostility: “easily aroused to anger or hostility, which they may or may not express overtly. Such individuals tend to see the worse in others, displaying anger, envy and a lack of compassion.”

What I realized is that being driven towards achievement is just an outcome of being Type A

, not the definition.

After reading the traits listed above, I’m actually not sure I want to be referred to as Type A anymore!!!

The more I reflect on it, this personality type has some consequences. Despite driving me to various achievements in my life, I can see how this personality type has created some challenges as well….

So, what does it mean to be Type A?

Mrs. Type A’s Confessions of a Type A Personality:

1. I must have a plan, even if it’s a bad one

Given the constant sense of time urgency, I feel the need to be constantly productive. So, I feel compelled to always have a plan so that I can maximize time efficiency. Some times, that can be hugely beneficial, as I remain focused and on the straightest path to an outcome.

However, it also results in an inability to “go with the flow.” Any change in plans requires a re-calculation of my plan. So, I can be less quick to adjust to changes, even if those changes are actually good overall.

Yes, having kids has been interesting for me, and quite an adjustment!

Many times, having a “plan” can be useless if there are too many uncertainties. My husband always jokes that I have to have a plan “even if it’s a bad one.” Yes, I do. When things get stressful or scary, planning is my coping mechanism. Often times, it pays off. However, it can also be ineffective, and inappropriate depending on the circumstances.

2. I hesitate to try new things

Type A’s can have perfectionist tendencies due to the competitive tendencies. So, while they’re driven to achieve, they may get so worried that they will not. And, as a result, they won’t try new things. At work, I may talk myself out of a new role or taking on a big project because I can only focus on what may go wrong.

If you’ve ever wondered why this blog is anonymous, this is part of that reason. In part, I’m worried that this blog will not be successful and it scares me 🙁

3. I struggle to relax

I can find it hard to just “relax” and am constantly multi-tasking. Down-time is uncomfortable because I’m not moving something forward. I often multi-task and can struggle to be present. No, I cannot just sit and watch TV. I’m writing this blog post right now while watching TV!

Years ago, I gave up on massages. It’s just torture to sit there for an hour with my thoughts and be unable to do anything.

4. I’m judgemental

I believe that, if you have a strong will, you will accomplish any goal. There is always a solution and, if you work hard enough and thinking creatively enough, you can achieve any outcome.

While this perspective can often lead to beneficial outcomes and achievements, it can tire people out (including myself). The desire to push, push, push when to avoid an undesirable outcome can make others annoyed and angry. Also, if you say you “can’t do something,” I’ll probably think you are lazy. While I would never tell someone that, I will likely push them to do something or judge them for not.

These are not all great thoughts or traits to have, and I’m sorry if anyone is offended. I’m just being honest about my experience being Type A and my increasing sense that it doesn’t always serve me.

What advice do you have for a Type A Personality?

1. Redefine the goals

Doing things like relaxing, meditating, even exercising and sleeping can be hard since I don’t feel like I’m “doing” something. However, those activities are very beneficial to your health and, ultimately, can help control the Type A tendencies. I have found that setting a goal, such as “sleep 7 hours a night” or “meditate 5 times a week” can help. Because I am goal-oriented, if I make relaxation itself a goal, I will do it. And, as a result, I do feel more balanced and more relaxed (that I would have otherwise been…still likely not as relaxed as a non-Type A!).

2. Travel to remote areas

I have found that taking my vacations where it’s hard to have connectivity is very helpful. My husband and I always joke that the international version of myself is way more fun. When I can’t stay on top of all of my to-do lists, I feel more free. You may not even have to go very far…perhaps just a hike every weekend…i’s hard to crank on your to-do list when you’re on a 5 mile hike!

3. Establish a routine with downtime

Type As can find comfort in routine and plans. If you build downtime into these plans, it can be easier to actually have that time for more relaxing activities. For example, dinner time is a time when I truly do spend time with my family. I rarely check my phone, or run my to-do list in the back in my head. I’ve trained myself to view that as simply a time to eat and talk to my family and I feel I can more easily fight the urge to “do” during that time.

I would love to learn from your experience as a Type A! How does being Type A impact your life choices and how do you cope?

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