Top 10 Q&A for Your Return to Work After a Baby

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       Last week I shared that I recently caught up with a new mom friend of mine.  In addition to talking about non-toxic beauty items, she was preparing to return to work and rapid-fire quizzed me on being a working mom; she must have asked 100 questions in the 2 hours we were together.  I realize that there are 10 common questions I get asked by new moms nervous to return to work after a baby.  The purpose of this post is to share the top 10 Q&A for your return to work after a baby.

Top 10 Questions Mrs. Type A is asked for your return to work after a baby:

1. How do you get ready in the morning?

The truth is I don’t.  I do a LOT the night before.  Things I do the night before include:  shower, blow dry my hair, pack up everything I need in my car (i.e., computer bag, pump bag, cardigan I want to wear once I take my heavy coat off, etc).  I also put everything my kids need in the car (i.e., backpack, jackets, even shoes).

More here about how I get my kids out the door in the morning.

I was never this organized about getting ready in the morning before having kids.  This is one area of my life that changed completely when I had to return to work after a baby.

2.  How do you make time to pump?

Well, this was probably the hardest part of a return to work after a baby.  Stressing about pumping!  I had to pump 3x a day and it took, probably, 20 min each at least.  I would look for meetings where I could dial in (even if I was in the same building).  Or have a 1:1 phone conversation with another mom who wouldn’t be weirded out by the fact I was pumping.  Sometimes, I just cleared my email.

Everyone’s job and company will differ, so the way in which I found the time may not apply to you.  That said, there are a few things I think you can do to fit pumping in your schedule, such as:

• purchase multiple “sets” for the pump:   I had 3 sets and used 1 at each session during the day.  That way, I wouldn’t have to wash them as part of my pumping break.  I would do that when I got home and then put them all back in my pump bag for the next day
• get an extra pump:  I found it useful to keep my pump at my desk at work, instead of lugging yet another bag to and from work. So, I had a pump at work and a pump at home.  If buying a second pump is out of the question, you may want to consider getting a used one from one of your mom friends.  I did that and, while some may consider it unsanitary, I felt ok using it after doing some research.  It helped immensely to have multiple pumps.
• pack water and snacks in your bag:  I often found it hard to pump, eat, and go to the bathroom during my breaks in the day.  At lunch, I’d only have time for 2 of the 3 activities.  So, I ended up packing water bottle(s) and snacks in my pump bag.  This helped me at least focus on pumping if I didn’t have time to grab lunch.  I never did find a solution to the need to use the bathroom, though I did debate with a mom friend the merits of wearing adult diapers at one point.

3.  How did you lose the baby weight while working full time?

I would say the biggest factor here, for me, was time.  A ton of weight came off in the first few days as your body is getting rid of fluids.  Then I hit a plateau for a long, long, long time.  Overall, it didn’t bother me because I was wearing my old clothes, they just didn’t fit the same way.

What was really helpful for me was knowing what my diet and exercise routine was before baby.  I took some simple notes right when I found out I was pregnant on what level I used on the elliptical machine, how long I did it for, the incline angle, etc.

Six months postpartum, I thought I was working out as hard as before.  However, when I looked back at my notes, I realized I hadn’t been working out at the same intensity and I wasn’t doing as much weight lifting.  What a short memory!  It had been about 15 months since I took those notes and I found it helped a lot to be reminded by my pre-baby exercise routine..

Once you return to work after a baby, it can be hard to find time to work out.  I have a post on this very topic if you’d like tips:  5 Tips for Working Out as a Working Mom.  I would say that, with everything else you have to deal with as a new mom, perhaps this one isn’t one you prioritize right when you return to work after a baby….there’s enough other stuff to worry about.

4.  How do you function when you’re so tired?

Well, this one is still a journey for me.  I do not have new babies in my house anymore, but there are still nightmares, night time accidents, and worries about their health and wellbeing that steal many hours of sleep from me a night.  In some cases it was easier when I had to return to work after a baby; I was up maybe 1x/night…now it can be 2-4 times.

Sigh.

While this is still a work in progress for me, I have tried a few different things.  One that can work well is trading off early mornings with a spouse/partner, so you get to “sleep in” a day or two a week.  I put “sleep in” intentionally in quotes because I doubt you will get up at like Noon.  But, you may at minimum get to finish your REM cycle which can go a long way to feeling more rested.

Also, you may want to get a night nanny for a night or two a week.  This can help with night time wakings/feedings.

I would love thoughts and suggestions here as I do wish I had this one a bit more under control!

5.  What do you do if your child is sick?

If your child is in daycare, this one is very, very relevant.  My kids barely went a week in the first 6 months when they weren’t sick and had to be picked up during the day.  Then I would get whatever illness they had, so — when they weren’t sick — I was.  Daycare illnesses was probably the hardest and most surprising thing I had to deal with when I was about to return work after baby.

My tip for this is to plan for this ahead of time.  A lot of employers have back up care, which can require a lot of paperwork.  I would do that before you start back to work, so you’re not dealing with it AND a sick baby at the same time.

Alternatively, you can identify a few babysitters and/or nice neighbors and mom friends who are home during the day.  They can be your lifeline if your child is sick.

You may have a nanny and, therefore, not need different childcare if your baby is sick.  That said, your nanny may be sick herself one day and, so, these options above still apply and I’d encourage you to look into them!

6.  Aren’t you nervous leaving your child with someone else?

Um, no.  The employees at a licensed daycare provider are WAY more trained and prepared to take care of a baby than I was (or at least I was at the time).  They have training in CPR and other important emergencies (i.e., how to use an Epi Pen).  They also have cared for dozens more children and can be very effective at figuring out what your baby needs to be happy and to develop.

These daycare providers were my lifeline when I was a new mom, and they were the reason I was able to return to work after a baby.  Every day I felt I was dealing with some new issue or worry.  It helped immensely to share the concern and get their thoughts.  They told me what kind of sleep sack works well, how to deal with teething, the best diaper rash cream, etc etc.  They made me more confident and focused when I was at home with my baby, and definitely comfortable they were watching my babies during the day.

I’m immensely grateful for those women.  They not only cared for my babies, but they helped me make the transition to motherhood and I thank them!

7.  What’s the hardest part of being a working mom?

First, I say I’m always hard pressed to say something is very hard.  I do feel fortunate to have healthy children and husband, a job I love and am good at, and a life in which I can choose to spend my time either at work or with my children.

That said, sometimes the kids are sick and my work is busy at the same time….and then the car dies.  So, yes, that’s hard.  The rest of the days are just very busy.  I honestly felt that it was easier when I was about to return to work after a baby.  Now, quite a few years later, the needs of my children are more than physical and it takes a lot of careful thought and consultation with other moms and experts.  Much more difficult than finding a place to pump.

Ok, so I’m only partly joking.  I’d say the hardest part is feeling like I’m never doing anything well.  If the kids are doing well, then I’ll focus a bit more at my job…until I realize that one of them hasn’t eaten lunch once at school all week.  Then, turn attention back to the kids more to understand what’s going on (and leave a few work things unattended to).

8.  Do you ever wish you were a stay at home mom?

Um, yes.  Almost every day.  At some point every day, I feel like I’m too stretched and can’t take it anymore.  Then I calm down, and think something we are doing at work is cool and I’m excited to be part of it.  It’s quite a cycle to go through every day!

I would encourage you not to make any decisions in a tense moment.  If I had followed through every time I said I was quitting the next week, I would have missed out on some amazing experiences (and colleagues).

There have been times when, even when a calmer mind prevails, I’ve realized it’s not working.  That’s fine!  Use that as information to decide how to proceed.  In my situation, once I realized things were not working, I took a different position at my company that had far more flexibility and less travel.

I guess my point is that, sometimes, it’s not a binary decision; you don’t need to decide between “work” and “staying home” because there are options you can make that allow both.

9.  Does your husband help out?

If you ask me this, you may get punched in the face.  I’m only partially kidding.  I have a strong feeling about referring to a husband as “helping.”  It implies I’m entirely responsible for everything and he “helps.”  These are his kids too, and our shared household.  Since I also work full time, I don’t see anything he does as “helping.”

Rather, I would say that he has his own household responsibilities.  For example, he is point for our kids’ dentist appointments, haircuts, cleaning the garage, washing cars, etc.  He does some laundry, and some cooking.  I think he also cleans up the Legos around here because I doubt the kids are really putting them back as nicely as they look!

10.  How do you juggle it all?

That’s a good question!  Sometimes I don’t think I am.  I have developed a very thorough To Do List and weekly schedule.  On Sundays, you’d think I’m organizing a space shuttle launch since I am so thorough and organized when checking everything is done and ready for the week.  It looks something like:

Meals planned for the week?  Check.

Outfits put out for each day of the week?  Check.

Baseball gear in the trunk for Wednesday?  Check.

The money my kid needs to bring to school on Friday is already in his backpack?  Check.

I’m probably the most organized person I know and it’s my lifeline; I’d be drowning in laundry and dishes if I were any less organized.  And, to that end, I do lament that I’m so scheduled and prepared, I’m not sure I can live a life spontaneously.  Eek.

Any other tips, Mrs. Type. A?

If you’d like tips on being more organized as a working mom or a return to work after a baby, you may be interested in these posts:

• 2 Steps to Beat Working Mom Stress (plus a free weekly planner)
• 4 Back to School Tips for the Working Mom (plus a free weekly planner)
• I like my To Do list more than chocolate (15 tips for a sane household)
• 6 Steps to Work-Life Balance as a Working Mom

I hope you found this information useful!  I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback!  Please leave comments below!!