Last week I was caught up with a woman I mentor, Camille, who just joined the workforce after graduating from an MBA program.  She was asking all kinds of questions about career progression in the industry I am in.  Many of her questions stemmed from the fact that she plans on having a baby in a couple years.  As such, she was curious to get the perspective of a working mom on how to prepare for starting a family.  It’s a very interesting question, so I thought I’d summarize the advice I gave her in this post.  I hope you find it helpful.  Please leave comments and feedback for me below!

Mrs. Type A’s 4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having a Baby

1.  Career:  Is your career conducive to having a baby?  Do you travel a lot?  Work long hours?  Have an inflexible schedule?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, you may want to consider how having a baby would fit into your career.  Before even the baby comes, you will have numerous doctors’ appointments and other things you will have to take care of that usually can only be done during business hours.

If you do not have flexibility, it may be incredibly difficult and stressful.  If you struggle to conceive, you may have additional fertility appointments and treatments, which (based on my experience observing friends) may interfere with your work commitments.  Then, after the baby, there is pumping, an onslaught of illnesses, more pumping, bumps / scrapes than need to be looked at, and — of course — more pumping.

So, Mrs. Type A, are you suggesting I need leave my high powered job if I’m thinking of having a baby?!

No, that’s not what I’m trying to say.

While I think it’s important to ask these questions and do some investigation, I wouldn’t encourage you to make big changes pre-baby (at least any move to a new position that you hadn’t already been considering).

Camille had just started in management consulting.  She suspected she may need to change careers once she finds out she is having a baby.  I didn’t try to convince her one way or another.  It’s a very personal decision based on one’s personal goals, relationship, support network, and finances.

Also, it is hard to know how you will feel once your baby arrives.  You may have always wanted to be the CEO of your company, but once the baby comes, your priorities and focus may change and you will want to stay home full-time.  It wasn’t until my children started school that I realized I wanted more flexibility in my career to participate in their activities.  It wasn’t until that point that I took steps with my career to support that.

In summary, I think it’s important to take stock of what may or may not be appropriate in your work situation and start investigating other options so you are educated to make a decision in the future.  I think it’s also important to be mindful that you’re about to go through a big life change and you want to keep options open.  So, be mindful when making financial commitments (i.e., buying a big house, new cars) because the obligations that come with those may limit your career flexibility.  Which brings me to my next point…

2.  Finances:  how financially prepared are you for a baby?

A baby himself or herself is actually not terribly expensive day-to-day.  There’s diapers, and perhaps baby food (which you can actually make much of yourself).  But, there is a lot of gear for a baby!  That said, you could always get hand-me-downs for a lot of that stuff; someone is always looking for a soon-to-be-mother to pass down cribs, car seats, strollers, and maternity wear.  I had a friend aimed to spend less than $100 on baby gear.  He achieved that just fine with gifts and used items.

What does cost a lot is daycare!  I suggest you look into options and costs in your area to see if you’re able to absorb that cost.  If not, you’ll have time to reduce other expenses (or move closer to a grandparent who can help?).

If you do end up purchasing baby gear, please be sure to look for the most non-toxic items you can find (see here for a list of suggestions).

Another aspect of the finances around having a baby is your maternity leave and, increasingly, paternity leave benefits.  It may be helpful to look into those now so you know how much money you’ll be making while your out.  Some employers will give you paid leave and/or some states offer financial support during your leave.  This information may be helpful in planning how much time you will take off, and whether you need to build savings up in advance to support your desired time off.

3.  Health Insurance:  what are your health benefits for pregnancy, delivery, and baby?

This question is probably a sub-question to the financial question because medical care can be costly if you do not have great insurance.  Consider calling your health plan in advance and ask about what is covered and your financial obligations (copay) for doctors visits, tests, hospitalization for delivery, etc.  I suggest you take notes, ask for the representative’s name, and get a reference number for the call.  That way, if you are billed more than you expected, you can follow-up (trust me, billing errors are common in healthcare).

If your eyes pop out of your head when you hear the costs, then you can do research into other health plan options and make a change during your company’s open enrollment before you get pregnant.  And, you have time to save for any expenses.

4.  You!  How healthy are you and your habits?

I should have put this first, but — true to form — moms put themselves last (to the point where they’re in the ER suffering from exhaustion!).

There are a few things you should consider doing before having a baby.  First, I suggest going to your primary care physician and sharing your plans to start a family.  He or she will give you a ton of suggestions and guidelines to prepare on having a baby.  If I recall, it was things such as “start on prenatals” and “avoid alcohol.”  My MD ran some blood tests to make sure things looked good, and there weren’t other health issues to be addressed in advance.  All this said, most friends I know didn’t go to the doctor until after they were pregnant and everything turned out just fine.

The one thing I do want to suggest is to minimize the toxins in your household.  This is an area where I found most MDs are not terribly educated.  Sure, they will tell you to avoid lead paint.  But, will they say you need to minimize plastics and avoid non-stick pans?  Mine certainly did not.

Non-toxic living became important to me after I started a family.  I regret terribly that I wasn’t more educated during my first pregnancy and well into my child’s first year.  I put a post together on non-toxic household suggestions that I do sincerely hope is of benefit.

You should also look at your personal care and beauty items.

Any other advice, Mrs. Type A?

Yes!  Enjoy the ride!  Having children is absolutely the best thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.  I cannot imagine my life without them.  Yes, I’m tired.  Yes, I haven’t seen my friends in months.  And, yes, I haven’t slept through he night in years.  All of that and, still, I wouldn’t change a thing.  I wish you luck on your journey!

So, there you have Mrs. Type A’s 4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having a Baby.  I hope you have found it helpful, I’d love thoughts and feedback in the comments below!  If you’re looking for more information, check out what Corporette has to say on this topic!

If you liked this article be sure check these out:

• Top 10 Q&A for Your Return to Work After a Baby
• How to Manage Work Stress with Mindfulness
• The Top 5 Professional Women Who Inspire Me

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