Being a working mom is hard. We have discussed before the stress a working mom faces and the impact it can have on the health, happiness, and wellbeing of the entire family. It’s also hard to see how your career can thrive when you are sleep deprived, exhausted, leaving early to tend to sick children, etc. That said, when I look at my own career since having children, I realize that I have been promoted 3 times, and have won company-wide recognition for the delivery of high-profile projects. I see a juxtaposition here: since having children, the demands of motherhood have diminished my nearly singular focus on my work and — at the same time — I have had the best run of my career. As I reflect on this, I see how having kids will help your career.
6 ways having kids will help your career:
1. You will prioritize better
Since becoming a mom, my time constraints have driven me to focus only on what matters the most and to drive it ruthlessly. Whenever a new project or idea pops up, my first question is, “will this help us achieve our goals?” If not, I’m probably not going to pursue it at all. If I think it has the ability to have a big impact, I will focus on this idea until I see it through. As a result, I generally only focus on what gives the biggest bang for the buck. And, I get stuff done and drive impact.
Now, this doesn’t mean I do not experiment or innovate. I do. I just have a honed focus on the results and “right size” effort to match the risk/reward of the idea.
2. You will be more empathetic to your direct reports
My experience is that being a parent makes you more empathetic to everyone. Becoming responsible for another human’s wellbeing has caused me to be more curious about what’s going through someone’s mind, the challenges he/she may be facing, and how to best support that person.
As a result, I am more human as a leader, better able to connect, and infinitely better at supporting the needs of my direct reports. My directs feel a strong connection to me, and vice versa. My team performs better as a result of this dynamic, and it also helps me attract high quality talent to my department.
Also, without a doubt, I am more supportive to the demands on working parents (both moms and dads), which is a good reputation to have.
I believe my empathy has helped me be a better professional, as I am better able to understand our customer as well. Without a doubt, having more empathy has been beneficial to me career; it’s likely the biggest reason how having kids will help your career.
3. You will delegate effectively
Working moms are so busy that I believe they are better able to “let go” of the activities they are not directly driving. As a result, they delegate better to their direct reports and, as such, are better developers of talent (than if they weren’t parents). Certainly someone can be a good delegator without having children; my point is that — if you are not strong on delegating — you inevitably will get better after having kids.
I frequently face being unable to travel to work meetings. So, I will send a delegate to represent me and my team’s perspective. This is a great opportunity for someone to continue to grow as a leader, and working moms are in constant need of delegating (you can see more on how to grow talent here).
4. You will communicate more effectively
I do not have time for vagueness. If I have an expectation of someone, I frequently say it directly (but still politely). If I’m worried someone doesn’t understand, I’ll reach out and follow up. I can’t afford to lose time because someone “thought I meant” something. I need to be clear, and I think my projects are more effective as a result, and my team performs better.
5. You will hire the best people
As a result of being all of the above, you will naturally get a lot of people interested in working for you because you will be effective, supportive, and develop your direct reports. Therefore, you will have the best people interested in working for you.
Another factor driving a working mom to hire the best people is because she cannot afford not to. There isn’t time to pick up slack from someone who is not effective, and even more difficult to coach them if they’re not self-aware of their gaps. That is more time consulting and challenging than leaving a position unfilled, in my experience. So, as a result of being a time crunched working mom, I think you will be more attune with whether someone will drive results and get along well with others….because you can’t have it any other way.
6. You will have supreme confidence
I’m exceptionally proud of all I have accomplished at work in light of juggling a lot of responsibilities at home. This is a huge source of confidence for me. The demands I have faced, has caused me to develop creative solutions (see my to-do list and my morning routine). I think this confidence comes through in my work and helped me be more effective as a professional, and a happier and more fulfilled person.
Still not convinced having kids will help your career?
I do want to state that it’s not all roses. I constantly miss happy hour events, do almost no networking, miss key business meetings that require travel, etc. Yes, there are some career limiting aspects of being a working mom; I cannot lie. But, my experience is that – due to the factors above – your career can still thrive. Will it look different than if you did not have kids? Yes! But, I don’t think it will be worse off on the whole.
It took me a while to see it to see how having kids will help your career. Before I had children, I had a colleague who became a professional development coach. She once said to me, “if I want to get something done, I give it to a working mom.” At the time, I thought that was odd. I now realize she meant that working moms will meet a deadline, and they will have an exceptional work product. There will always be room for that type of professional in the workplace. And there is a lot worse that someone can say about you than “you are highly effective and get a lot done.”
So, on top of the fact that having kids will help your career, it will also help you achieve other goals by giving you great prioritization and communication tools, as well as overall effectiveness and confidence.
Please leave comments / questions below or drop me an email. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how having kids will help your career!
If you liked this post be sure to check these out:
- 5 Tips for Working Out as a Working Mom
- The Top 5 Professional Women Who Inspire Me
- 2 Steps to Beat Working Mom Stress (plus a free weekly planner)
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Such a beautiful post in a world where so many women think having kids would be detrimental to their careers. Thanks for speaking up!
Thank you! I know a lot of women that put off kids to have careers. There are pros and cons to that. I hope that this post just broadens some women’s perspective on potential benefits to your career (besides just your personal life!)