How to Give Feedback to Your Boss

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4 years ago

A close colleague called me last week complaining about her boss. He was a bit of a micromanager and she was getting frustrated. She was planning to talk to her boss’s boss about the situation. I asked her if she had given her boss the direct feedback that he was a micromanager. She looked perplexed. I said, “you know, you need to give your boss feedback so he can give you what you need.” I realized that she didn’t know how to do that. So, in this post, I’ll relay what I told her; I’ll explain how to give feedback to your boss (and I highlight in green how my coworker reacted to this advice). However, before I get to the advice, I want to discuss 1 thing…

…why it is important to give feedback to your boss.

You may remember my “bad boss” story. If you don’t have time to read it, essentially I advocate that bosses are human too. They have good days and bad days, strengths and weaknesses, and personal ups and downs. You never really know what is going on personally or professionally. So, give them the benefit of the doubt and step up to help make the situation better by providing feedback directly (vs. complaining to that person’s boss).

OK, Mrs. Type A, but aren’t they supposed to be better…they ARE the boss (and paid a lot more than I am)?!

Fair point. I don’t disagree with it. However, I’m not sure believing that helps you get a resolution. But, I can’t deny someone their right to have that perspective. So, if the “bosses are human” argument doesn’t pass the sniff test to you, then let me try another…. It’s a great way to show you are a solutions-oriented leader.

Huh?! What’s that?

Let me explain. If you can successfully give your boss feedback — and, thereby, rectify a difficult situation — people will recognize that you have the will and skill to achieve results. You will be seen a leader and, likely, get more opportunities and promotions.

Ok, so NOW I’ve convinced you!

There are is a lot of good advice on how to give feedback to your boss. Career Contessa has great guidance, which I whole-heartedly agree with (especially the need for a backup plan)!

In this post, I’ll take the experts’ advice 1 step further and share HOW to exactly go about the discussion.

How to Give Feedback to Your Boss

Here is an outline of how your conversation should go:

1. Start with appreciation

Everyone is more receptive to feedback when they feel it is balanced and in their best interest. You can convey that balance and support by starting with what is going well, or by thanking him/her. Essentially you are putting your boss in the right mindset to receive the less positive thoughts you will share next.

The first thing I was taught as a new manager was to start with what is going well. And, so, I think the same applies to your boss.

Ok, so HOW do I convey appreciation?

Let me share an example… A few years ago, I had to give feedback to our CEO. He had unreasonable expectations on the launch of a particular initiative. It resulted in the team making bad decisions because we were trying to meet his timeline vs. what a good end-product should be.

So, in a discussion with him, I first said, “Thank you for approving the additional funds for this initiative. The team has been able to secure the best marketing agency to support our branding efforts. As a result, the team has a renewed excitement in this work.” It wasn’t a lie. He very kindly expanded the budget and I believed he deserved to know how helpful that was.

He said, “You’re welcome. Is there anything else I can do?” That’s when I went into the 2nd Step…

2. Describe the issue in terms of impact on the business (aka Do Not Complain)

This is the most crucial step. You have to get this part right. Please practice it! After the compliment, get right to the point. You need to explain your boss’ behavior AND the impact on the business (not your personal happiness).

So, for example, I answered our CEO’s question on whether there was anything else he could do by saying: “Yes, the team feels that the timeline you set is unrealistic and, as a result, they are forced to choose speed over quality. We need more time.” I didn’t say, “you’re unrealistic” or “you’re killing us with your timeline.” That is accusatory and will not work.

The truth is, the CEO had no idea what a realistic timeline was since he wasn’t familiar with all the details. It was my job to educate him on the constraints and what would be appropriate.

After this step, the conversation should get easier, right?! The hard part is over, right?!

Well, no. I don’t want to lie to you. The conversation is actually just starting…you will have to…..

3. Be prepared for objections

It’s fair to assume that your boss’s behavior is being driven by something rational from his or her experience…so you will have to educate/clarify what they do not know.

In the case with my CEO, he basically cut me off before I was done with my statement about the timeline by saying, “Well, I gave you more money! Why can’t you use those resources to make the timeline?!”

YES! An objection I was prepared to answer. Before I went into the meeting, I brainstormed with colleagues on what concerns may come up and planned my response to each of them.

As a result of this prep, I had a prepared response to this objection!

4. Ask for what you need / what you want instead

So, now that you’ve given the tough feedback and defended it to objections, you need to be prepared to ask for what you want instead.

In the example with my CEO, I concluded by saying, “I’d like for the team to take 2 weeks to put together a more realistic timeline for you to review.“

You need to be as clear with what you want, as you are with what is wrong.

5. Set a plan to check-in

People don’t change overnight. Even CEOs. You’ll want to have the next step so you can continue to provide feedback if things aren’t getting better. I suggest something like, “I’ll follow back up in 2 weeks with a proposed change to the timeline.”

Summary

In conclusion, no one really wants to have feedback; we would far more want to be perfect. But, as I started this post off by saying, bosses are human. I’ve been the boss who has received feedback. It’s really hard to realize the negative impact I have had on people I care about. But, after I cycled through my own feelings about it, I appreciated the feedback.

In the end, it made me better. Any boss worthy of being one will feel the same. And, they will remember who helped them get better as a boss. As a result, that will certainly help you in your career!

Hopefully, these tips on how to give feedback to your boss will help! I’m curious about what your experiences are giving feedback to your boss? Any additional tips or watch-outs?

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