The 1 Thing That Will Improve Your Executive Presence

The words “Executive Presence” give me anxiety.  Ever since I began my career 20 years ago, I was told I needed to improve my executive presence; my voice was too high and my stature too small.  I struggled for years to understand what to make of this feedback.

The most specific guidance I ever received was from a very senior leader in my company.  He told me that, when presenting, I needed to learn how to “use a pause, regulate my tone of voice, and command the audience.”

What am I supposed to do with that feedback?!

While I appreciated the specificity of what good looked like, I found this feedback totally useless.  No one could ever quite explain that to how to go about changing my voice and speech in order to improve my executive presence.

It would stress me out to no end to get constant feedback and not understand what to do about it!!!

I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why Executive Presence is so hard to define and discuss at work.  First, it touches upon uncomfortable topics such as attire and personal appearance (that someone may or may not be able to address).  Also, men may feel awkward or — in some cases — fearful of sexual harassment claims when talking about how a woman looks and dresses.

So, Mrs. Type A, given it’s hard to talk about, you still thought this would be a good blog topic, then?!

Well, yes.  Many of my readers are seeking advice on how to improve their executive presence, and I’m committed to helping my readers.  I apologize in advance if some aspects are uncomfortable!

Over the years,  I have found my way to a place where executive presence has become a strength.  It’s been a hard fought victory, with a lot of ups and downs.  But, as of now, this is an area where I’ve grown so much that I’m actively coaching many junior colleagues on their executive presence.

OK, what did you do, Mrs. Type A?!  I need to increase my Executive Presence right now!

Well, not so fast.  It’s very individual and situational.  I started off by doing what everyone else does:  I googled Executive Presence.   There is a LOT of information and tips out there.  But, no one could tell me HOW to go about implementing the advice…

That is my goal for this post…I will tell you how to implement the advice on how to improve your Executive Presence!

But…there really is just 1 thing you need to be sure to do in order to improve your Executive Presence….(I will get there, but you’re going to have to read a bit…)

In this post, I will reference Business Insider’s article:  7 Traits Of Executive Presence.  It’s a great article, but 7 is too many.  Who can handle more than 3 things?!!  Well, hmmm…I don’t quite think I can get Executive Presence to 3 thing but, how about 4?  It’s better than 7!!

I’m choosing the facets I feel are most important and then layer over my tips on HOW to follow their advice…I aim to make this advice useful (vs. the useless feedback I got!)

Here we go:

1. Composure:  “ability to control your emotions, recognize emotion in others and manage your response”

The ability to control one’s behavior is not referred to as the “executive function” by coincidence.  It’s the same core set of skills that allows us to refrain from shouting out in class as it does when we are reacting to something unpleasant at work.

As I told a direct report of mine one day after she essentially yelled at me for ruining her career: “show me you can be in charge of yourself…until you can control yourself, you will not be in charge of others.”

So, how do you improve your composure?

My response is:  know thyself (…and control thyself).

You need to be very aware of your emotions, what triggers them and what’s harder to handle.  And you need to take proactive steps to manage your reaction.

Let me give you an example….

We made some changes to our organization structure at work, that resulted in my role changing substantially and I was not happy.  I decided to leave work early that day, because I wasn’t sure my feelings wouldn’t seep through.

Breaking down or having emotional outbursts at work erodes the perception of Executive Presence.  Executive Presence doesn’t mean that you do not feel these emotions; it means you manage your behavior / reaction.

2.  Connection:  “engage others when communicating and make them feel comfortable”

OK, this sound a like a great thing to do.  But…don’t you already feel like you do this?  I haven’t met anyone who says, “I try to be disengaging” or “I want to make people uncomfortable to talk to me.”

The article goes on to suggest you should “understand your communication style challenges” and “how to overcome them.”

Oh, I see, do you have a magic wand?!  How do I do that?

Here are my thoughts on how to connect:

A. Ask questions

Hands down, the most effective communication tool on the planet is asking questions.  If all you do is ask questions of the other person — thereby, getting him/her to talk solely about himself/herself — you will make the other person feel a stronger connection to you.  After talking about themselves for 30 minutes, they will feel like they’ve related to you much more than if they heard you talk half hte time.

I should really write a whole post on asking questions.  It’s a great tool…probably the best coaching / feedback tool as well.

B.  Categorize your interests and match them 

I think it helps to identify 3-4 facets of your personality and try emphasizing each one with a particular individual.  For example, I frequently relate to others as a “Mom of Young Kids.”  I’ll share my kiddo stories and will empathize on sleepless nights with people on my team.

OR, of the Caregiver to My Aging Parents facet.  Maybe, Runner.  Or, Fantasy Football player etc etc.  Identify which facets of your personality you can emphasize and then test each one with an individual until you find something that sticks.  Start building your relationship off of that.

The Business Insider article call out Charisma separately, but I see it very tied with Connection and think the advice above applies to Charisma as well.

3.  Conciseness:  “being verbose kills presence”

This is the issue I probably see most with the people I mentor.  They give every single detail and piece of information to senior leaders.  As a result, they lose their audience.  CEOs and high level executives do not have time to process all of the details; that is not their job.  They what to know the key takeaway…the 1 or 2 things they need to know to make a decision based on the details you’ve examined.

Well, what if they need to know more?!

Yes, there are times when you need to give more than just the takeaway.  In those situations say give your key point (i.e., “customers are buying less of our product because it’s not user friendly”).  Then follow up with something like, “There are a few caveats to that conclusion, would you like me to review them?

In all likelihood, the executive will say “yes” and you can proceed.  The key is to get invited to share more data (vs. just throwing it at the executive).  Other phrases to use include:

• “I have some concerns about the data source, would you like me to go over scenarios we have looked at?”
• “The data source we used is inconsistent, could I share how we are handling that?”
• “While customer feedback is trending up, I have concerns that it’s leveling off.  Can I set up time to review?”

Next to asking questions, this is probably the most effective coaching tip I ever give….how to chunk up what you tell senior leaders so they can digest what you said and then together you can determine how to proceed.  When you do that, you are conversing more like their peer vs. subordinate; your communication is 2-way (not just you talking at him/her with a lot of details).  As a result, perceptions of your Executive Presence will increase.

4.  Confidence:  communicate confidence both in what you say and how you say it….eye contact…voice has good pitch, volume, and pace….wardrobe and accessories.

This is a big category!  We need to break this one down into two parts:

A.  Communication style

This is obviously where I struggled the most.  And, perhaps, the one that is hardest to change if it stems from pitch, volume, and pace; a lot of that is just what someone is born with.  I honestly don’t know what changed for me.  Over time, I was less nervous in high stakes situations and so my pitch, volume, and pace didn’t get worse.

I asked a close colleague who was at my presentations and meetings to give me a hand signal when my pitch, volume or pace changed.  It helped me to implement changes in the moment.  Over time, I started to ten recognize my own triggers and I no longer needed his hand signals!

The Business Insider article also emphasized Credibility in that — in order to maximize Executive Presence — you need to minimize, “[f]iller language such as “um,” “uh,” and “so” immediately detract from presence. As do minimizers like “just,” “sort of.”

I see this tied a lot to the Communication Style aspect of Confidence.  You can use the same tactic as choosing a colleague to give you a hand signal, so I won’t address this separately.

B.  Wardrobe and accessories

If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know this is where I spend a lot of time.  On one hand, I love shopping, clothes, and dressing up so it’s a natural topic for me.  But it’s also where I have focused a lot in terms of increasing Executive Presence.

Why?

Because I can control it 100%.  This facet of Executive Presence doesn’t rely on me noticing a change in the pitch of my voice in the moment.  Or, stopping myself before I have an outburst.  Or on getting a good night’s sleep and, therefore, communicating clearly.

It’s something I can plan out in advance and, therefore, count on to ensure a degree of Executive Presence.

And, for this reason, Wardrobe is 1 thing you should do to improve your Executive Presence.  

(I promised you I’d get to the 1 thing eventually!!!)

It’s a “no regrets” move to ensure you look professional and influential.  So, why not “stack the deck?”

If you are looking for advice on how to dress for success, see links to other posts below.

So, how can you address ALL of this feedback?

It is a lot to take in, and I promised to make my advice be actionable.  I suggest choosing 1 new thing every week and just making a commitment to do that 1 thing every day.

Choose a partner who is working on something too and meet 1x/week and review what you did the previous week and what commitments you will make for the next week.  You’ll appreciate the accountability that this weekly meeting will drive.

In conclusion, I’m still the higher pitched, diminutive framed lady that I was when I received that useless feedback so many years ago.  I’ve come a long way, but I’m still myself.  With a few small tweaks, I was able to change the perceptions people had about me, and — as a result — the trajectory of my career.

If I can do it, I guarantee it you can too!  If you need help, drop me an email or leave some comments below.  I would truly love to help!

If you would like advice on advice on dressing for Executive Presence, see these posts:

• How do Fortune’s Most Powerful Women Dress for Success?
• How do Fortune’s 40 Under 40 Women Dress for Success?
• Knock ‘em Dead with a Killer Outfit: – Part 1: Blouses
• Knock ‘em Dead with a Killer Outfit – Part 2: Pants & Skirts
• Lastly, Knock ‘em Dead with a Killer Outfit – Part 3: Blazers and Cardigans
• 4 Tips for Choosing a Day-to-Night Outfit for a Work Party

If you are working on Executive Presence in order to gain a promotion to management, be sure to check out my FREE DO’s and DON’Ts for Management Interviews.  It’s a guide on how to answer the TOP 5 MANAGEMENT INTERVIEW QUESTIONS….

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