You’ve probably been caught on the spot at the office, unsure what to say in a difficult work situation. It happens to everyone, but it is so embarrassing and challenging in the moment! You need to have some “key phrases” ready to say in these moments in order to navigate through these difficult work situations so you can get back to a less awkward position!
How did I determine the most difficult work situations? Most of these examples came from dilemmas that Readers emailed about looking for advice. Don’t worry, I changed the key details! I’d love to hear more from you (you can email me at MrsTypeA@MrsTypeA.com)!
Exactly What to Say in the Top 5 Difficult Work Situations
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Work Situation: You are Being Blamed for an Issue That is Not Your Fault
- Example: You told your boss, Sally, that you didn’t think it was a good idea to choose your current distributor. However, she decided to use them. She left the company and now there are many problems with the distributor. Your new boss asks you why you chose this distributor when they clearly were incompetent.
- What You Really Want to Say: “It’s not MY fault. I didn’t choose them!”
Saying “it’s not my fault” or “it was Sally’s decision, not mine” sounds defensive. You risk showing your new boss that you care more about “blame” and “credit” than solving the problem. In the end, saying ‘it’s not my fault” is simply not relevant at this point, and doesn’t help.
- What to Say Instead: “It seems this distributor is not as capable as Sally assessed them to be. However, here are 3 others that we evaluated that I think may work better.”
This response clarifies that you were not responsible for the decision, while still providing a productive solution to the problem. Your new boss will understand your role in the current problem was minimal and appreciate that you have a solution! Bingo!
2. Work Situation: You Receive Negative Feedback That You Do Not Agree With
- Example: Your boss tells you that you need to improve your communication skills. You’ve never received that feedback before. In fact, you’ve always received positive feedback on your communications skills!
- What You Really Want To Say: “That’s not true! You are the one who is bad at communication!”
Arguing with feedback is a “no-win” move. It makes you seem like you are defensive and not open to hearing feedback on how to improve. While your boss may not be great at communication, you will seem petty if you say that at this moment.
- What to Say Instead: “Thank you for the feedback. I’m surprised as I have not heard that feedback before. Could you be more specific with what good looks like?”
By saying this, you’re subtly pushing back without being defensive. You’re also holding your boss accountable for clarifying expectations and how you are not meeting them.
[If you think you will be getting a negative review, be sure to check out our advice on how to prepare!]
3. Work Situation: Your Co-Worker Asks You to Take Some of Her Work
- Example: A colleague is overwhelmed with her current assignments and you are the only person who can help. However, you cannot work much more than you already do! You’re too busy!
- What You Really Want To Say: “NOOOOO! I already give enough of my life to this job! Can you handle your own work”
If you respond with a “No,” you risk not being perceived as a team player, even if the request is unfair. You can damage your relationship with this colleague, and any others who may know you did not offer to help another colleague.
- What To Say Instead: “I would be happy to commit to 1 extra day/hours per week to a new project this month. I would look forward to training someone else / advocating to hire someone new / helping her reprioritize her work.”
This works better because you’re saying what you are WILL DO, rather than saying what you won’t do. It’s a subtle difference but has a great deal of impact on how cooperative and supportive your colleague perceives you to be. You’re helping solve the issue, but you’re not committing more than you can do.
4. Work Situation: Your Boss Has Unrealistic Expectations
- Example: Your boss expects you to complete a project with a budget that is 20% less than what you need. Your team is under a lot of pressure trying to keep expenses low. They feel the expectations are unfair.
- What You Really Want To Say: “You are being unfair, you need to give us more money!”
By reacting this way, you risk seeming like you are just complaining, which is unprofessional.
- What To Say Instead: “The current budget is too low and, as a result, the team has to decide between ensuring quality and meeting budget. We need $X more to deliver on the expectations.”
This works better because you’re focusing on the issue (quality) not the emotion (stress, unfairness). Furthermore, you are clear about what you need to do the work.
5. Work Situation: Saying “No” To Your Boss
- Example: Your boss asks you to start a new project, but you are overwhelmed with your existing work.
- What You Really Want To Say: “Are you crazy? I’m doing so much already! Can’t anyone else take this on?”
If you respond in this way, your boss may perceive you to be lazy, incompetent, uncooperative, or not a “team player.”
- What To Say Instead: “Sounds like an interesting project. I’m focused on Project XYZ at the moment. Could we discuss this in 3 weeks, or should I de-prioritize Project XYZ to begin work on this new one?”
You’re not saying “No,” and you’re presenting options for your boss to choose from that do not overwhelm you. It would be very hard for a boss to still ask you to do both projects. It’s a win-win. The high priority work gets done and you don’t have to take on more work!
OK, you’re probably thinking…
It’s a little harder than just saying these phrases, Mrs. Type A!
Yes, it is. It’s hard to think on the spot, especially when you’re having an emotional reaction to the situation. Consider practicing these phrases so they are top of mind in any given situation. Over time, it becomes more and more natural to react in a productive and professional way to difficult work situations.
If you want to see 7 more difficult work situation, click here to read this HBR article!
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