Are Bad Bosses Better Than Good Ones?

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6 years ago

Your boss is making your life unbearable. You are working hard and getting none of his or her help. Despite that, you can never make your boss happy. You feel like you are walking on egg shells. Your bad boss is making your life miserable.

Well, I am truly sorry. I’ve had bad bosses and I can tell you how hard it is. It seeps into every part of your life. But, if there is a silver lining, it is this: having a bad boss may be good for your career!

Huh?

Yes, it’s true, let me explain….

Are Bad Bosses Better Than Good Ones?

OK, I’m not sure I can advocate that bad bosses are always better than good bosses, but I think there are truly some advantages to consider:

1. Opportunities you may not have with a good boss

If your boss can’t do his or her job, then colleagues may come to you instead. Yes, it can mean more work, but also a lot of opportunities to demonstrate your skills.

I once had a boss that our Vice President disliked greatly. As such, this VP reached out to me directly to provide information and insights. Within 6 months, my boss was gone and I was promoted to lead the team. There is no doubt that I benefited from having a bad boss in this situation.

Yes, a great boss creates opportunities for his or her employees to shine. But, that’s not to say you don’t get great opportunities with a bad boss; you get those opportunities in different ways.

2. You learn what kind of boss to be (or not be)

In the future, you will be a better boss because you will learn from your current bad boss’s mistakes. You know what will make employees upset and avoid doing it.

You will also know what to look for in a future boss.

3. Your successes will be greatly appreciated

If you can succeed despite having a bad boss, then your colleagues will certainly believe you are extremely talented. A few years ago, I was interviewing candidates for an open position on my team. One candidate stood out because I knew his boss was terrible. I thought, “if he could succeed working under his current boss’ direction, he must be really great!”

OK, so now that you’re convinced (at least somewhat) that there may be benefits from that horrible boss, it leaves 1 question….

….so what do I do about it?

How To Deal with a Bad Boss

1. Ask yourself what your role is in the situation

WTF, Mrs. Type A? Are you serious?! It is HIS fault, why am I going to point any finger at myself??

Stop being a victim! You’re a paid professional. Act like it, solve the problem, and forget about who “should.”

I once had a boss who was very erratic. One day, he supported my proposals. The next day, he was against them. When I sat and thought about it, I realized I was not giving him enough time to fully comprehend all of the nuances. I knew the situation more because I had more information than he did. So, as a result, his guidance kept changing.

It takes two to tango and, if there is some aspect of dysfunction in the relationship with your boss, I guarantee you that you have some (albeit, potentially, minor) role in it. Identify it, own it, and…

2. Determine what you need to change, and ask for it

In the situation above, I realize that I needed my erratic boss to more fully understand my work real-time. So, I set up a separate meeting every week where I could go into more detail on this particular project. That helped A LOT!

You may also consider presenting options. I could have said, “Mr. Erratic, I could schedule a separate weekly meeting for us on this topic, or you could attend my weekly status meeting so you can get more information. Which would you prefer, Mr. Erratic?”

Either way. I don’t think one approach here is better than the other…as long as you are thinking of solutions!

3. Be empathic to your boss

OK, now this is over the top, Mrs. Type A. I’m supposed to be empathetic to the person who is making my life miserable?

Yes.

Seriously?

Yes.

Bosses are people too. They have good days and bad days. They may be tired from waking up all night with a teething baby. Or a spouse with a health issue. And, most relevant, they even have their own bosses and other employees who may be creating drama.

My point is: you have no idea what is going on for them personally and professionally. If you were them, how would you like to be treated?

Oh, with compassion? Ok, then let’s just choose to treat them that way then.

When I chose this mindset, I actually realized Mr. Erratic had a lot of the same challenges day-to-day that I had. He had a new baby at home. He had aging parents that he was worried about. The relationship with his own boss was, well, dysfunctional. And, some of my peers were real pills and I could only imagine how that was going for him.

What did I do with this realization?

With this newfound empathy, I realized I could help him out a little more. I offered to take on some additional responsibilities so he didn’t have be as stretched.

Anyway, over time, Mr. Erratic became my favorite boss. I bring this up to show that you never really know what may contribute to a suboptimal situation. Give bosses the benefit of the doubt, they will appreciate it.

4. Celebrate that you are a solutions-oriented leader

Seriously, be proud! Taking the steps above is not easy. And, in the end, you’ve turned your relationship with your boss around. What an opportunity to demonstrate leadership!

Additional Thoughts

In the end, I do want to say that not every situation with a bass can and should be saved. Sometimes bosses are breaking company policy or even the law. Demanding, annoying and ineffective aren’t great qualities, but I could work with them (just like I did with Mr. Erratic). But some bosses can be bullies and even abusive. If you’re not sure, I suggest you reach out to HR or a trusted colleague to discuss.

How about you? How have you handled a bad boss? Let me know in the comments below!

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